my name is emily.

in the year of 1994 my mother had a miscarriage.

i ran a marathon when i was six months old.

i knew how to speak three languages by the age of one.

i graduated from harvard when i was two.

at three, i joined a band and became world wide famous.

when i was four, i built the great wall of china.

i died in a car crash when i was five years old.

at the age of six, i painted the mona lisa

and murdered my best friend when i was seven.

at eight, i joined microsoft.

i dropped out of school at nine,

became a drug dealer at ten,

and stole a car at the age of eleven.

i took the first steps on the moon when i was twelve

& at the age of thirteen i joined the circus.

I am Emily; it's nice to finally meet you.

anything by kurt vonnegut.